"GAMBLING...GAMBLING...GAMBLING...WE ARE TIRED!"- KENYAN WOMEN.

Should you be dating a gambler,i have  remedy for you. Date a tree instead. Why? He will hardly think of you. Well,football has sparked  the ignition in which many ‘lame’ ambitious young men are staking their cash ,in the name of betting,desperately driven by their inflated love for easy money. A get-rich-quick scheme ,if i can say so.Am so amused and bewildered in equal measure of how this cult baptised betting has gained popularity even going as far as staking their school fees or worse rent.

This is free advice girls,take it or leave it!Your guy is what we call the 21st century addict.The much he do is  sit in front of a desktop analysing football matches. When confronted on the same....you'll get the same answer, "Ni form ya hustle bana!". Girl,you already  know this and sitting around claiming to have a future with him? In the words of one  Njoki Chege, "...these young men are a bunch of losers-who would stake anything with a view of earning more.In fact,these guys are a whole lot of mundane boring chaps who would salvage their peanut salaries, if any, for gambling and share the same roof with their mothers even when their age dictates otherwise...".

Girl,don’t you see this man would even sell your wedding gown on the eve of your beautiful day,just to get some cash for betting purposes?Or even staking your child’s school fees ? And besides ,if gambling and betting were lucrative ventures,economic giants such Chris Kirubi would have set their foot right on it. Now its a shame that only paupers(your boyfriend included)- hailing their lungs out as rich ,are spending even their parents cash on this cult.
Furthermore,the owners of the betting sites such as sportpesa  and elitebet are a whole lot of  stinking rich men,who quit their previous jobs to start up what your totally misled and misinformed boyfriend sees as an opportunity  for income generation.

By all means , your boyfriend is oblivious of the ‘sadaka’ he contributes to pay the brainchild of the whole idea of betting, while the incumbent is easily servicing his loans and purchasing every other new model of the BMW with your boyfriend’s lost bet.
Needless to say, your boyfriend  is a lazy old-fashioned lad who wants everything on a silver plate,without even lifting a finger to make it happen. Aren’t real men busy investing in real estates,securities and the likes?Your boyfriend is just too lazy to even think of how to feed himself.Such are the men who flood your phone with messages of nisambaze kambao hun or nitumie 110 nitakurefund kesho.

Girl,if you ‘fell’ in love, its high time you rose up and wipe off the dust – and if falling is your hobby, I’d suggest you fall asleep and have good dreams while trying to hack the much coveted "jackpot!"..

Why I Wont Date Campus Divas Anytime Soon

”If only money grew on trees,then women would be dating monkeys”. The Whatsapp status from an old friend  greatly caught up my attention .I guess that already rings  a bell .My first reason.Campus divas are a  whole different lot of ‘empowered’ women.From what that surfaces from most of their conversations,a good number of them claim to  be ‘miss independent’(they pay their bills). And one greatly wonders what kind of independence yet even the messed-up meals from the school mess are sponsored courtesy of an ambitious young man.

Truth be told,these young ladies will hardly date a cent-less man.I have thus  abhorred spending my hard-earned thousands  from my writing career on these ‘miss independent’. Wouldn’t i be a moron trying to quench their insatiable thirst for Guarana ?Or even their inflated appetite for cheap pizzas on Tuesdays?

Well,fashion has never been so cheap as it is.The conservative village girl who happens to pursue higher education is immensely corrupted by the wavering fashion trends especially cheap lipsticks and micro mini skirts .Without  prior knowledge they grace their dark lips with red  lip gloss-which from a fashion consultant,that’s a mismatch. And besides,aren’t their lips as those of Angelina Jolie?That’s incomparable contrast.Did i mention their skirts?……

Whoa!!! their skirts ………they are ‘little  but noisy” and they gladly expose even the  ominous parts.Their wrinkled buttocks(mishap after butt enhancement) and their spotted mosquito legs irk me the most.To therefore maintain and retain my also hard- earned reputation,i shelve any erection that may come up at the  sight of these grotesque legs.

Their childish behavior too,disgust the giant in me.Perhaps my expectations are too high .But!How on earth do you follow your alleys to the washrooms just to escort them?Or even make several phone calls to your girlfriends and see whether they are attending classes before  you can set your feet in  school?I just realized the paradox of empowerment that everyone is  talking about.Should we make  commentaries regarding empowerment of the girl child,then let it be mental-related.

In fear of a ‘handicapped’ progeny,i vowed  not to date these ‘big babies’- who think lollipop is the antidote to their  mouth diarrhoea venom that they spit as a result of uncharted intolerable communication skills.Their language is perverted and vulgar.

For anyone who cares to listen,campus love is for the birds-the ravens,that skew proper interests,intentions and attention. Nowander i wouldn’t masquerade as a lover to a campus diva.

Now you know i have  a reputation and a future to protect,which am not willing to jeopardize in the name of plastic love.

Short Men Are More Romantic ; From The Horse’s Mouth

If you are dating or thinking of delving into it for your own conjugal reasons, it’s high time you reconsidered height as a parameter of evaluation,especially for ladies,who are so much blinded by the ”tall,dark and handsome ” guy. Prudently,I had to find out how and why ladies are now chasing the short men.And for this, I couldn’t deny myself the expedition of thought as i interviewed three ladies ,who undeniably are dating short, romantic men.

1. Njoki Chege

She is the outspoken modern lady, who is envied by many for her elephant ego syndrome and the empowered woman inher.She arrived late though for the interview. She giggled at my sight, and it was evident our eyes were in goodcommotion.Call us the wannabes. She almost burst into laughter when i confronted her with the question of men and their heights. ”Mwanaume ni bidii,height wachia sky crappers” she uttered,”Tall men are too lazy to even move their not-so fleshy  sunken bodies around.Why should I date such a man ?” .The sneer look on her face tells it all .”I always admire and cherish short men for they are very hardworking ,and more so very romantic…………..mwaaaaaah..they are good ‘performers’ by the way”.she adds as her naughty wink greets my eyes again.My  transformer (named after the Nyeri incidence)  sparked with overflow of charge and I had to call the wazima moto…..Hehe,that’s for another day.

2.Sharon

At just 22,she vows never to date tall guys and I quickly intervene to ask her why.This is what she had to say,” I love hugging gentlemen , not trees. Am irked the more when tall indiscipline men come around asking if I can hug them and all they do is subject me to in-explainable physical torture as am on my toes for a long duration. In fact, they are very rough at how they do it and their shenanigan tendency to wanna feel juicy boobs piss me off even the more. Unlike tall guys,short ones will always handle you with some decorum and they are warm too”.

3. Cate

The third year student at the Kenyatta University prompted me to keep some distance as I crisscrossed my legs during the interview when she appreciated her roots to beNyeri. I couldn’t put up  with her irresistible touches around my thighs and I had to proceed with the interview maintaining high standards of professionalism. She argued that tall men are extremely violent especially in love affairs and she hesitantly blattered the she could single-

handedly bring  them down only if she had a knife.”Nitang’oa transformer tu. After all, their tiny transformers can hardly satisfy a modern lady of my caliber”. I almost asked her what her ‘caliber’ was,but i just remembered……she’s from Nyeri. perhaps she spared my transformer because am not tall.

And by the way, am an affiliate human activist spearheading for the rights of men.So for any Nyeri woman chasing me around along TRM, be warned.Am that cautious guy who’s always on his toes even when you suck my ‘D’.  

Frankly Speaking.: WE WANT TO BE PREGNANT OR ELSE.....!

Frankly Speaking.: WE WANT TO BE PREGNANT OR ELSE.....!: In Kiambu sexually starved women have sensationally threatened to relocate to more ‘productive’ regions if their men continue to perform...